Pastor Chad preached an incredible Easter sermon this past Sunday, talking about how while all the other disciples scoffed at the women's description of the empty tomb, Peter doubted his doubts enough to head to the tomb and check things out for himself, and he was amazed.

This made me think of an equally incredible blog post that circulated the internet last week by Rachel Held Evans, titled, "Holy Week for Doubters." In it, she says,

[When regular churchgoers assume you are just one of "those lazy people" who only show up to church at Christmas and Easter], you won’t know how to explain that there is nothing nominal or lukewarm or indifferent about standing in this hurricane of questions every day and staring each one down until you’ve mustered all the bravery and fortitude and trust it takes to whisper just one of them out loud on the car ride home:

“What if we made this up because we’re afraid of death?”

And you won’t know how to explain why, in that moment when the whisper rose out of your mouth like Jesus from the grave, you felt more alive and awake and resurrected than you have in ages because at least it was out, at least it was said, at least it wasn’t buried in your chest anymore, clawing for freedom...

Please know you are not alone.

There are other people signing words to hymns they’re not sure they believe today, other people digging out dresses from the backs of their closets today, other people ruining Easter brunch today, other people just showing up today.

And sometimes, just showing up - burial spices in hand - is all it takes to witness a miracle.

I'm going to guess that most of us find ourselves in places of doubt now and again...and maybe more often then not. Next Sunday, we'll hear again the story of "doubting" Thomas, who isn't so much a doubter as he is an experiential learner, I think. It's not good enough for him to hear the stories of other people. He can't bring himself to embrace the good news of Jesus' resurrection until he has experienced it for himself, firsthand.

I wonder if the whole of Easter might really be summed up in Chad's phrase "doubting our doubts." Because Easter is all about trying to believe the unbelievable, and trying to make sense of the impossible. And maybe if all we can muster up is the energy to just show up at the empty tomb, well, maybe that in itself is the biggest leap of faith of them all, the moment of doubting our doubts just long enough to see for ourselves whether the tomb is empty. Because while it takes faith to believe the resurrection whole-heartedly, maybe it takes even more faith to show up at the tomb when our hearts are full of more questions than answers.